Why am I passionate about this?

In 2006, I told a friend I wanted to write a book about grieving the death of a friend. Despite the fact that I’d never written a book before, she gave me her enthusiastic approval. Six months later she was dead. She inspired me to turn that book idea into a series of little books: the Friend Grief series. Just as I was finishing the last one, I began work on a full-length book that took me back to my work in the early days of AIDS. When COVID began, I returned to writing about friend grief. And I lost over a dozen friends while I wrote the book.


I wrote

What Our Friends Left Behind: Grief and Laughter in a Pandemic

By Victoria Noe,

Book cover of What Our Friends Left Behind: Grief and Laughter in a Pandemic

What is my book about?

Grieving a friend is hard. Grieving a friend during a pandemic is a lot harder. When COVID struck, severe restrictions…

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of BFF: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found

Victoria Noe Why did I love this book?

Written during COVID, but not about the pandemic, BFF is for those of us who are less-than-perfect friends.

Her lifelong struggles to define and live up to her impossible ideals of friendship are instantly relatable. She’ll annoy you and maybe make you mad, but you’ll cheer her on for her desire to do the right thing. Her challenges are ours, too.

In fact, reading how she coped with the loss of her best friend was a comfort to me. Because I read it at a time when I was devastated by a similar loss.

By Christie Tate,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked BFF as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From the author of Group, a New York Times bestseller and Reese's Book Club Pick, comes a moving, heartwarming, and powerful memoir about Christie Tate's lifelong struggle to sustain female friendship, and the friend who helps her find the human connection she seeks.

After more than a decade of dead-end dates and dysfunctional relationships, Christie Tate has reclaimed her voice and settled down. Her days of agonizing in group therapy over guys who won't commit are over, the grueling emotional work required to attach to another person tucked neatly into the past.

Or so she thought. Weeks after giddily sharing…


Book cover of The Celebrants

Victoria Noe Why did I love this book?

College friends gathering after the suicide of one of their friends. If it sounds like the ‘80s film The Big Chill, you would be right…and wrong.

At first, I wasn’t sure I liked any of the characters. But Rowley digs deep into the lives of a group of far-flung friends in ways that surprised me. Layers are peeled back throughout the book, proving that the characters, like our friends, really are complicated and annoying and precious.

By Steven Rowley,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Celebrants as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

New York Times Bestseller
A TODAY Show #ReadWithJenna Book Club Pick

A Big Chill for our times, celebrating decades-long friendships and promises—especially to ourselves—by the bestselling and beloved author of The Guncle.

It’s been a minute—or five years—since Jordan Vargas last saw his college friends, and twenty-eight years since their graduation when their adult lives officially began. Now Jordan, Jordy, Naomi, Craig, and Marielle find themselves at the brink of a new decade, with all the responsibilities of adulthood, yet no closer to having their lives figured out. Though not for a lack of trying. Over the years they’ve reunited…


Book cover of Alone Together: Love, Grief, and Comfort in the Time of COVID-19

Victoria Noe Why did I love this book?

Jennifer Haupt has collected a diverse, fascinating, and powerful group of writers who dig deep into the challenges we faced at the height of COVID.

The anthology, a fundraiser for the Book Industry Charitable Foundation, features poems, essays, interviews, and more. I found the wide range of experiences and emotions both comforting and inspiring.

By Jennifer Haupt (editor), Garth Stein, Jenna Blum , Kwame Alexander

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Alone Together as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"Could there be a timelier gift to quarantined readers...? I doubt it." - The Washington Post "A heartening gathering of writers joining forces for community support." - Kirkus Reviews "Connects writers, readers, and booksellers in a wonderfully imaginative way. It's a really good book for a really good cause" - Bestselling author James Patterson ALONE TOGETHER: Love, Grief, and Comfort in the Time of COVID-19 is a collection of essays, poems, and interviews to serve as a lifeline for negotiating how to connect and thrive during this stressful time of isolation as well as a historical perspective that will remain…


Book cover of Side Walk: 6' apart in New York City

Victoria Noe Why did I love this book?

One of the many wistful and beautiful photos in this book caught my eye in an exhibit at the New York Historical Society in 2021.

Her photography, and the attendant essays, evoke not only the isolation of quarantine, but the ways we rediscovered the desire for human connection. What could be easier than meeting a friend, careful to stay 6’ apart? Or sadder?

By Renate Aller,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Side Walk as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In April 2020, when New York was in lockdown and the epicentre of the pandemic, Renate Aller created the project side walk. She hosted friends and neighbors on her sidewalk or visited them in their street, her camera in self timer mode, recording these masked encounters at a safe 6 feet distance. With voices muted by masks we learn to communicate with our eyes and body language, finding our bearings in a new emotional landscape. These sidewalk visits created a deep sense of community where community had been forced apart. This project is in the spirit of Rainer Maria Rilke:…


Book cover of All the Young Men

Victoria Noe Why did I love this book?

Since long before COVID, Ruth Coker Burks has lived a life of service to people who were abandoned by their families after being diagnosed with AIDS.

In the dark days of that epidemic, she cared for them, advocated for them, even buried them in her own family plot in Arkansas. She persevered despite relentless bigotry and hatred that included cross-burnings on her front lawn. Nothing stopped her.

Coker Burks earned the nickname ‘cemetery angel’ by proving that everyone can make a difference in the lives of others. I’m honored that we have become friends, because she inspires me every day.

By Ruth Coker Burks, Kevin Carr O'Leary,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked All the Young Men as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"A renegade Florence Nightingale cares for the ill in a remarkable tale of compassion and combating prejudice" The Guardian

'Breath-taking courage and compassion [...]a beautiful book' The Sunday Times

'An extraordinary tale' Evening Standard

'If I have one message with this book it's that we all have to care for one another. Today, not just in 1986. Life is about caring for each other, and I learned more about life from the dying than I ever learned from the living. It's in an elephant ride, it's in those wildflowers dancing on their way to the shared grave of two men…


Explore my book 😀

What Our Friends Left Behind: Grief and Laughter in a Pandemic

By Victoria Noe,

Book cover of What Our Friends Left Behind: Grief and Laughter in a Pandemic

What is my book about?

Grieving a friend is hard. Grieving a friend during a pandemic is a lot harder. When COVID struck, severe restrictions were placed on families: no hospital visits to their loved ones and only a few people allowed at funerals. But what about friends? The pandemic forced us to find new ways to grieve the friends we couldn’t visit or mourn in person. We sent cards and watched funerals on Zoom. It wasn’t enough.

In What Our Friends Left Behind, you’ll meet others like yourself, struggling to come to terms with their friend’s death, creating new ways to honor them, and redefining friendship.

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Uniting the States of America: A Self-Care Plan for a Wounded Nation

By Lyle Greenfield,

Book cover of Uniting the States of America: A Self-Care Plan for a Wounded Nation

Lyle Greenfield Author Of Uniting the States of America: A Self-Care Plan for a Wounded Nation

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve always been fascinated by group dynamics, large and small. Why things functioned well, why they didn’t. It’s possible my ability to empathize and use humor as a consensus-builder is the reason I was elected president of a homeowners association, a music production association, and even an agricultural group. Books were not particularly involved in this fascination! But in recent years, experiencing the breakdown of civility and trust in our political and cultural discourse, I’ve taken a more analytical view of the dynamics. These books, in their very different ways, have taught me lessons about life, understanding those with different beliefs, and finding ways to connect and move forward. 

Lyle's book list on restoring your belief in human possibility

What is my book about?

We’ve all experienced the overwhelming level of political and social divisiveness in our country. This invisible “virus” of negativity is, in part, the result of the name-calling and heated rhetoric that has become commonplace among commentators and elected leaders alike. 

My book provides a clear perspective on the historical and modern-day causes of our nation's divisive state. It then proposes easy-to-understand solutions—an action plan for our elected leaders and citizens as well. Rather than a scholarly treatment of a complex topic, the book challenges us to take the obvious steps required of those living in a free democracy. And it…

Uniting the States of America: A Self-Care Plan for a Wounded Nation

By Lyle Greenfield,

What is this book about?

Lyle Greenfield's "Uniting the States of America―A Self-Care Plan for a Wounded Nation" is a work of nonfiction and opinion. Incorporating the lessons of history and the ideas and wisdom of many, it is intended as both an educational resource and a call-to-action for citizens concerned about the politically and culturally divided state of our Union. A situation that has raised alarm for the very future of our democracy.

First, the book clearly identifies the causes of what has become a national crisis of belief in and love for our country. How the divisiveness and hostility rampant in our political…


5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in pandemics, secrets, and isolation?

Pandemics 36 books
Secrets 270 books
Isolation 21 books